Stalking Socials, Hurting My Own Damn Feelings

you want to believe people are better than they are. 

in your mind, you beg them to be more. be better, braver, more patient than most. be deeper

...while simultaneously knowing 

yeah. your subconscious is frankly, a bitch, but - 

she's almost never wrong.

so you move through the world, reading people like a book,

hating your judgemental nature

hating when they prove you right. 

and you offer plays, or skits. Enactments of a version of you

you wonder what's real about you anymore, or what ever was at all

you wonder if anybody else is arranged this way

you keep watching. You keep a radio frequency on loop, but they just keep disappointing

and you. you keep turning away, further into yourself

one day you can finally disappear

god knows you're practically translucent 

already